She broke up with me.

Expect me to be cold for awhile...

... Than again, why do I write here? The only two people who read this and/or have read this are Devy and Ali.

Expect me not to write here again either.

Maybe it's time to find some new friends to hang out with. Apparently Ali's busy with her own.

So busy that she can't sleep if I ask her to when I have plans the next day to hang out with her.

Well. Back in school now... Which is a pretty good thing, All-in-all. I feel weird just sitting around.. Like I'm not making any progress. And, I can't STAND when I don't make progress. xD

Anyway... When I got home from school today, Ali wasn't on. She's prolly sleeping. So, Ali, if you read this, I hope you feel better. Love ya.

Alright. Time to calm down... Ali's running on no sleep, and she's PMSing. Badly.

Scratch the anger in that last one.

It's our anniversary.

She says she "Feels like shit", yet she's actively OPing in the damn camfrog room, and refuses to talk to me.

I'm fucking pissed.

Alright. I never write in here anymore, but.. I guess I should change that. Innitiate Emo rant.

I looked on my buddylist today on AIM. There was nobody and I mean absolutely nobody that I could just IM out of the blue and talk to. Than, I look at Ali (By the way, it'll be our 5 month on the 4th. Which is... Two days from now. w00t.). She's on Camfrog.. An operator in one of the rooms.

Bah. Camfrog. I hate the fucking thing... I downloaded it, saw that my webcam would work with it (Since it wouldn't work with anything else) and invited Ali to DL it too. And, of course, the Aliliahishness infected it. Ali found her way into a webcam/voice room.. Than another... Than found her way into an 18+ room, where she OPs now. So, needless to say, she's been too busy to talk to me, much less pay attention. Go figure; the one thing I tried to get so that me and her could actually stay closer in touch, since it had voice and webcam, winds up taking Ali from me. Time and time again. I hate it.

Than, she has her countless pixel cliques, her website, and all the people from Eden Enchanted that love her work. They draw her attention too. Yeah, ok. I'm jealous. I just want to have my girlfriend to myself sometimes... And, I'm really starting to get snappy because of it; but not only that. Normally, if Ali's busy, I used to go hang out with Alex

Alex.. Yeah, so he rambles. And Ali hates him.. But, he's a good guy when he wants to be. He's the only one I know that can just go on for hours about something.. And the only one I can talk to about games, movies, ect. Ali gets that attitude of "No. You'll just stop playing again" when I ask her to play. Beeeh. Anyway. Moving on...

So, where was I? Oh. Yeah... Devy's still around, but.. She has work. And James. And WoW. And a whole bunch of stuff to keep her busy. James, Yish, Wes, and Sean I can't really talk to - I don't know them well enough for that. Not to mention I don't really go well with Wes, Sean's oldschool.. Kinda out of my talking league. James I just never got to know, and for some reason, I don't really plan to. And, Yish... Well, Yish is just Yish. I could never be serious with him.

Yeah.. That's my emo rant for now. Love ya, Ali.

Oh-- and, one more thing. School starts again on the 4th. Right on the anniversary. Wonderful.

-Beanie

I just woke up awhile ago to my dad pounding at my door... Now, see, my parents and I have always been on good terms but, today, I wanted to kick his ass. Why? He woke me up from the best dream I ever had. It felt like Ali was right here with me... Not only that, but I could see her. I remember that... It was the main thing that I did. Just gazed lazily into her wonderful browns. My hand stroked through her utterly perfect hair. It was... Silky. I remember every single feeling and tingle. It's something that won't leave my mind for a long time. I had to do something I've always wanted, since things appeared so real. I leaned forward, and I kissed her... I could feel every bit of softness the moment I pressed my lips against hers. It was raw bliss; a pure euphoria. I kissed her so deeply that it was a disappointment when I pulled away. It was than that I could tell we were in my room... I could feel the double-blanket of my bed beneath me, and my ceiling fan above and a bit forward. My back was to the wall. After that, I just... Held her. I held onto her as if it would be the last time that I'd ever be able to. I buried my face in her hair, and she rested her head on my bicep. My other arm was just... Slung about her, holding her as tight to me as possible. I remember... We started talking. I'm not sure about what, but it got us both laughing. Than, she leaned back so that she could look up at me... I smiled back at her. The last thing I remember was her saying, in exact words, "Beanie, I have something to tell you..." before the KNOCKKNOCKKNOCK. God, I was SO unbelievably pissed. I even tried falling back asleep, but I couldn't get that dream back.

Ali most definitely is the woman of my dreams, considerring she's the only one I've ever dreamt of being with.
I love you, beautiful.

Well. I haven't really posted here in a long time, so I figure I'd give it a shot. First off would be something I'm pretty proud of.. I got a job. :D At the Abraham Lincoln Veterans Cemetary in Elwood, Illinois. It's a decent job... 1300 a month, about 300 a week. So, all in all, it's all good. What do I do thate? I... Clean. o_O Windows, floors, bathrooms, you name it. I'm the maintenance crew! :D Workin' for B.R.A.M.Co., which is a subcontracter hired by Zion Industries to cleeean. So, in some far off, funky way, I'm working for the government. o_o Creepy.

Anyway... Like always, I have to talk about Ali. x3 Well... What can really be said? I love her... And, I want to make her mine. She is.. By far, the best thing that has come into my life...I'd give everything I am just to be with her. And, I'm going to stop there, before I get any more sappy. :P

WHOO! Ali sent me a letter. Just got it today... It's pwn. o.o Apparently, she's in Phoenix... Doin' good. They don't have a house phone, though... Hence, no call and no dial-up. She only has Dax's cell... So, hopefully I'll be able to talk to her soon.

I miss her. Uberly.

... I CANT BELIEVE I GOT A LETTER! :D!

More than a week without Ali. I miss her so much... Devy's gone too.. ;.; I MISS HER TOO!

ANYWAY. I'll give you an update. I was at my Aunt's for a few days, and now she's staying here for two more... So. Yeah. I haven't had time to go online all that much. I got a new pair of glasses today... I needed em. T_T My old ones SUCKED. All scratched up n' stuff... Yeh. Got my hair redyed and cut too. It's layered, so it falls flat on my head for once. I like how it looks. No mullet anymore. Lmao.. Anyway. I'm really tired... And, kinda lonely too. Bed sounds like a winner. Later, guys.